Lifeless series 1:Shanes deadly Secret.
by shaneomac-lover
Summary: Shane McMahon has a deadly secret
1. Default Chapter

Lifeless series 1:Shane's deadly Secret  
  
  
Shane McMahon thought he had a perfect life,so full of joy and happiness. He had a beautiful wife and a career that was getting better and better each day. But he soon learned that nothing stays perfect forever, when disaster struck him from something so simple like stomach pains and sickness. Shane thought nothing of it ,just a bug, but was encouraged to get a check up by Marissa.   
  
So he did,and the following day he drove to see his doctor at Greewich public hospital without a single thought of what could be wrong with him. He sang along to his favorite CD and waved to passing fans. Then he arrived, and no sooner did he enter Greenwich hospital's golden doors did his thoughts changed. There was so many people crying,throwing up and in serious pain that Shane began to think that he could have something serious wrong with him.  
  
"Shane McMahon," called his doctor and Shane slowly made his way into one of the examination rooms. He went threw a series of tests before finally finding out he had cancer. Shane was in shock, his hands were shaking and on the way back he drove home like a drunken driver. He just couldn't concentrate. When he landed home he just fell to the floor crying...then, then the phone rang, it was Marissa. Shane didn't even make an attempt to answer and left it to go threw to the answer phone.  
  
"Shane it's me Marissa. you should be home by now but obviously not so when you come home just call me yeah. tell me how it went I'll see yah later hun." Half an hour later Linda rang and Shane flipped, he pulled the phone connection out the socket and threw the phone to the other end of the room. He smashed vases,cups,photo frames and all things like that,before finally making it to the bedroom where he just fell to sleep. At around 6:00 Marissa arrived home and began to shout Shane,she saw the damage Shane had made and raced upstairs to find Shane. she thought they'd been burgled.  
  
When she saw Shane asleep looking so cute she left the room and began to clear up the mess downstairs. When she had finished she began to cook dinner and Shane came downstairs, he had a look on his face that described everything. Marissa knew something was wrong and raced over to him hugging him and demanding to know what had happened. The only answer she ever got was   
"nothing...I'm fine" Shane left the room and went to sit down in the lounge where he just starred into space.   
  
When Marissa brought him his dinner he barely acknowledged her existence.   
"Are you sure your alright hun?" she asked.   
"what?.....I told you I'm fine" muttered Shane. Marissa sat down beside him trying to make conversation but never got no reply only   
"oh right," and "yeah I know." Marissa had totally had enough.   
  
"what the hell is a matter with you???" she screamed, but only got the same answer she always got. "nothing I'm fine." Shane stormed out the house and went for a walk to Belle haven where he sat and watched the boats come into the harbor for about an hour. It began to rain but that didn't bother Shane he barely even noticed it, he had too much on his mind. "so this is where you've been hiding?" It was Vince,Marissa had called Vince and Linda to ask them if they knew where Shane was.Vince then went looking for him. Shane never answered Vince he just continued to watch the harbor until Vince tapped him on the back. "come on son!" he said. Shane and Vince went for a walk and for most of the way Shane said nothing. Despite the questions Vince asked him,it was like Shane was in another world completely. "you know keeping quiet ain't gonna solve anything it only makes it worst.!" Vince said calmly. For once Shane replyed "not in my case." Vince stopped on the bridge by the waterfall in the park. "why is that?" he asked. Shane responded "it doesn't matter." He began to walk on and Vince followed. "the world is so beautiful isn't it" he said softly and Vince replyed to say "i don't know i haven't seen all the world" vince laughed. Shane just starred at Vince,shook his head , and stormed off on his own. Vince didn't even attempt to follow him,he thought it was best he gave Shane is own space to clear his head.  
  
How wrong could he have been? By morning there was still no sign of Shane, Marissa had stayed up all night.Marissa,Steph,Linda and Vince went looking for Shane only to find him asleep on a park bench. All the rest of the McMahon's went home apart from Vince who stayed and waited for Shane to awaken. When he did he yelled at Shane demanding to know why he'd done what he had done. Demanding to know what was wrong with him. The only answer he got was "Can we go home?" Vince walked Shane home and Marissa was speechless,she didn't know what to do or say.She said nothing and went upstairs to get changed,then finally went to work leaving Shane all alone. Not that it bothered him Shane just sat on the couch and did nothing for 2 hours before finally realizing he had a job too. He rushed to work only to see that his place had been taken "whose he?" Shane asked Jim Ross. "well we didn't think you were coming in so he's your replacement." Shane stormed out and never even bothered to goto work again. Despite Vince and Linda's phone calls and Marissa's questions Shane just ignored them all. He went to the hospital regularly for more tests and medication without even leaving a note to say where he was going.   
  
On the up and coming Saturday Shane had to pack his bags and go into hospital for an operation to remove the cancer. He still hadn't said anything to anyone and had instructed his doctor not to mention it to his family. So on Thursday Claire, his Doctor rang him and left a message saying   
"Hi Shane it's Claire,i just wondered if you'd like to come for a chat tomorrow to prepare you for the move call me back and let me know Shane..ok bye" Marissa heard this and didn't realize that Claire was just trying to be discrete about where Shane was going and what was wrong with him.   
  
She automatically thought Shane was having an affair. She packed her bags and was about leave before Shane saw her   
"where are you going?" he asked but Marissa didn't reply and just stormed out with Shane on her tail. Shane kept shouting Marissa and Marissa eventually came back only to explain that she was leaving him and letting him and his new love Claire be together.Despite Shane trying to explain Marissa didn't allow him to get a word in edge ways and drove off.Shane was heartbroken and fell to the ground crying and lifeless. A hour later he looked up to see Vince standing over him demanding that he wasn't going anywhere until he found out the truth.Vince knew his son wouldn't cheat despite Shane actually admitting it. Vince knew he was lying to get away from the truth. Shane broke down and told his father everything. Vince was heartbroken and asked the question that everyone asks when you have cancer   
"Are you dying?" Shane muttered a response   
"I don't know I'm so scared." Vince informed Linda and Steph and then stayed over for the night with Shane.  
  
By morning,he drove Shane to the hospital and paid for Shane to have a private room. No sooner was he settled was he put onto a drip and given all different drugs. Half an hour before he was about to go down to theater Marissa arrived,speechless. She fell into his arms and Marissa and Shane had a heart to heart before Shane was taken down to theater. His hand firmly in Marissa's. When he arrived at theater Marissa and Shane shared a final kiss before Shane was gassed and put to sleep for the operation.3 hours later he returned to his room,his family was by his side. Watching and waiting for Shane to awaken,when he did the whole family began to talk about why Shane didn't tell them nothing. Shane just starred into space as they told him how much he meant to them. Eventually Shane began to talk only to say   
"I was too scared to say anything,I thought I was gonna die.." his family understood and never mentioned it again. The thought of death hurt them and they tried to cheer Shane up before leaving and letting Shane and Marissa be alone.Marissa and Shane talked for hours about all kinds of stuff. Day after day and night after night Marissa stayed with Shane until it was time for Shane to leave hospital and come home. Shane has always remained a little unstable about life but Marissa and Shane's relationship is stronger than ever. Shane vowed never to keep any secrets especially health secrets from Marissa and his family.  
read on to chapter 2 


	2. Dramatic Effects

Lifeless series 1:Shane's deadly secret  
Chapter two: Shane Changed  
  
It had been a year and the cancer still hadn't returned, it may never return. But there was one thing about the disease that was permanent and would never ever go away. That was the effect it had on Shane's life. It was almost like Shane was a new man, he saw the world so differently. He may have known he was loved before but only really realized the true meaning of family when he had Cancer.   
  
Shane may have still had humor and was a good laugh to be around. But the people that really knew him, his family, his friends and most of all his wife Marissa could easily see a different Shane.   
  
He was now all for charities, I mean yes ok he did his fair share of charity work before but not as much as this. He cared allot more about the way people see him. This had an effect on both his ring performance and his stage acts. He took remarks allot more personally, he took everything to heart. Shane had gone through a dramatic change and it seemed that how he was now was the way he was gonna stay.   
  
Month after month Shane went to the hospital just for a check up. You always knew when it was time for this because Shane would go as quiet as a mouse. He'd drive to the hospital with no music on, he'd just sit and drive trying his best to concentrate on the road but always thinking of the worst. That the cancer had come back. Sure enough each time he went to the hospital he always came out clear and a massive sigh of relief would come over Shane's face. He'd drive home happily singing and listening to all kinds of music.   
  
No sooner did he get home would he celebrate the night away. Sometimes with family and friends, but most of the time just with Marissa. That was the way he liked it best just a cozy night in with the love of his life Marissa. The one women that made his life complete. Usually he'd ring everyone he knew and tell them not to bother him tonight, not to page him, not to phone him and most of all not to knock on the door. Sometimes though he'd take the simple way round of disconnecting the phone, switching his pager off and well just ignoring the door. So that him and Marissa could have a night of satisfaction, a night of passion and most of all a night of romance.   
  
At about midnight Marissa and Shane would often go for a little walk down to Greenwich's lovely sandy beach or Belle haven and the harbor. This wouldn't last long just long enough to discuss life, to discuss how lucky they were to be together, to discuss what brought them together, to discuss work and most of all to discuss family. Shane and Marissa often discussed having children but decided not to. They decided it was better to wait and enjoy a few more years of pleasure before being committed parents.  
  
When you think about it, Shane and Marissa were both still young and it would have been unfair to spoil a few more years of peace and being able to just get up and go, which is what they'd lose with children. Shane and Marissa loved their lives and were overjoyed at being able to stay together as a couple so long. It was like a dream come true. Shane use to always tell Marissa that he always dreamed of a girl like her but never thought he'd get one. They were so happy, they may have been adults but both were children at heart. Both of them enjoyed allot of the things that teenagers enjoy doing, mucking about, going to theme parks, playing stupid games, daring each other and all stuff like that.  
  
They weren't the kind of couple that kept themselves to themselves and make teenagers hate them through how strict they were. But they were a lovely couple that loved to interact with fans and help out when they could. Shane and Marissa weren't the kind of couple that if you kicked a ball on their garden they'd yell at you and keep your ball. But they were the kind of couple that wouldn't hesitate to give you your ball back and even sometimes play soccer or whatever game you were playing with you.   
  
There are no words that could ever describe Shane and Marissa's relationship better, other than these. They were kind, caring, loving and most of all perfect for each other. If there was one thing that didn't change for the worst after Shane having cancer it was his relationship and feelings for Marissa. Shane and Marissa weren't just a couple, and they weren't just husband and wife. They were soul mates ,joined at the hip, whether Shane weren't Marissa would follow and visor versa .They decided to re-new their wedding vows.  
  
read on to the next chapter 


	3. Renewal

Lifeless series 1:Shane's deadly secret  
Chapter 3: Renewal   
  
  
On the day that Shane and Marissa were suppose to renew their wedding vows Shane was no where to be seen. Marissa rang everyplace Shane had ever been, she rang his cell phone ,she paged him and finally she rang Vince and Linda. Vince was going through some papers and Linda was helping Steph do up her dress ready for the big day. That's when the phone rang, Vince answered and couldn't believe that Shane had gone again. He immediately thought the worst, cancer. Vince rushed out to his car without even saying as much as goodbye to Linda and drove all over Greenwich looking for Shane.   
  
After an hour of searching Vince parked up and went into Greenwich central park to see if Shane was there. He wasn't and after 3 hours Vince gave up, by this time Linda and Stephanie had finally been informed about what was going on and weren't happy. The day was ruined, Linda and Steph thought the same as Vince. The cancer. But Marissa thought differently Shane had promised never ever to keep secrets especially health secrets secret from her and knew that Shane disappearing wasn't just because he was scared of dying or anything like that. She felt he'd done it on purpose.   
  
  
At about 11:00pm Shane returned home without a care in the world.  
"where have you been?" Marissa yelled and a drunken Shane responded to say "Out. got a problem with that?" Shane barged passed Marissa and wobbled upstairs singing. When he reached the bedroom he fell straight asleep on the bed where he remained until 08:00am the next morning. He got up like nothing had happened, he came downstairs and gave Marissa a kiss "Morning babe," he said. Marissa pushed him away from her and rushed out to work. Shane remained not realizing what he had done. He waited at home not bothering to goto work and ignored phone calls and messages. Every other hour he'd have a glass of wine or whisky.  
  
  
Marissa returned home and Shane yelled at her demanding to know what he had done. He claimed that Marissa was one spiteful bitch and didn't care about him. She tried to get away, she could see that he was drunk. But Shane grabbed hold of her arm. In the end he actually made Marissa cry. Marissa ran out of the house and went to stay with her parents. Shane remained alone with out his wife Marissa. He didn't even care, all he cared about was drink. He became more and more of an alcoholic.   
  
  
A day later Steph came round to see Shane and Marissa but instead she only saw a drunken Shane .She stayed for about an hour trying to get threw to Shane. Trying to make him see sense, then she gave up and went home. As you've probably guessed no sooner was she home did she ring Vince and Linda. Linda couldn't believe it, Vince was outraged. He immediately went round to Shane and after an hour of constant verbal abuse from Shane he had enough. He went to his car and phoned Steph to see if Shane acted like this with her. She told him he did and Vince assumed he was also like this with Marissa.   
  
He assumed right. Vince went back into Shane's house and stayed there over night. Throwing out every single bottle of alcohol he could find. But that wasn't all he found, he found drugs. Heroin. He stormed upstairs and actually beat up his own son. Demanding to know what he or anyone else could have possibly have done to make him turn to drugs. Shane took the blows like they didn't hurt him, he was too drugged and drunk to feel the pain. Vince eventually realized this and left him. Half of him regretted what he had just done, half of him just wanted to kill Shane.  
  
  
By morning about 10:00am Shane got up wondering what had happened. Vince starred at him, then he flipped and pinned Shane to the wall explaining move by move hit by hit what he had done to him. Shane couldn't believe it and went to hit Vince but just got thrown back into a wall. Vince left throwing the packet of heroin down to the ground and everyone in the McMahon family gave up on Shane. Vince managed to phone Marissa who was heartbroken by what she heard. Shane eventually found the packet of heroin and for once he actually understood everything. He wanted to sort it out he wanted for everyone to help but no sooner had he taken the heroin did his thoughts change.  
  
  
He did go for help though in his own special way. He got drunk and went banging on his Mother and Father Vince and Linda's door. He begged for help,he thought it was fun but just got the door shut in his face. By morning Shane remained laid out on the door step and Vince just picked him up and put him in the car. He drove him to a drug rehabilitation clinic. He didn't force Shane to go in he just told him if he wanted to be a McMahon theres a door he needs to go through. That door being the door into the drug rehabilitation clinic.  
read on to the next chapter:The great escape 


	4. The Great escape

Lifeless series 1:Shane's deadly secret  
Chapter 4: The great escape  
  
A half dazed Shane remained in the car just starring at the car door, then he made and attempt for the handle. He put his hand on the handle and closed his eyes, he didn't know what to do. He started to have flashbacks of everything that's happened in his life from when he was a toddle to now. He began to blink and shake his head, you could see that something was wrong.   
  
"Shane?" said Vince, Shane just fell back into the seat. Poor Shane began to cry, Vince wanted to hug him but as he went to hug him Shane jumped out of the car. Flashbacks started again, Shane dropped to the ground with his hands on his head.   
  
"No, no, no!" Shane began to yell. He grabbed hold of the bonnet of the car and pulled his self up starring at the doors of the clinic. Vince got out of the car, Shane began to walk closer and closer to the clinic. Once at the clinic doors he put his hand on the handle and thought of the people he cared about. The people he loved. He thought of Marissa, Marissa's parents, his own parents Vince and Linda, he thought Stephanie the sister he helped raise.   
  
Shane was in tears half of him desperate to get back to drugs and half of him desperate to get cured. He opened the doors and went through. He registered himself signing himself into the clinic.   
  
After being in the clinic a little over a week the McMahon's started to visit, the first visitor being Stephanie. Who might have well have just being talking to herself as Shane wasn't paying her any attention at all. He just sat starring through a window looking out towards the fountain and pond. Steph began to cry and rushed out the clinic, she couldn't believe her own brother wanted nothing to do with her. The following day Linda arrived and just starred at her son, a tear fell from her eye. Her son had gone, with only his shell behind. Or at least that's what it looked like. You only had to look at Shane's face and you could see his pain. After a few hours Linda left but not before giving Shane a kiss on the cheek and telling him how much he meant to her.   
  
Just over two months Shane spent in the clinic without any visitors. Linda, Vince, Steph and Marissa had all agreed that it's best that Shane makes the first move. But he didn't, he never ever tried to contact any of his family or friends. His thoughts were "why should he?" When the clinic felt Shane was fit enough to be let home again they let him go. They asked him if there was anyone he wanted them to ring to pick him up and he just said no. Instead he just walked over 15 miles to an old place he use to goto as a child before finally returning home. No sooner was Shane home did he pack his bags and book a one way ticket to Switzerland. The very next day he was away and never even left a message for any of his family.   
  
When he arrived at Switzerland he checked in to a lovely hotel near the mountains. He stayed there a few weeks before buying himself an apartment. Shane hadn't gone over to Switzerland on holiday but he had emigrated and had no intentions of going back home to the U.S.A. Shane got through emigration easily just on the amount of money he had. After buying an apartment Shane began to start up his own business. A winter sports business that specialized in curling ,ski jumping and snowboarding. His business also had a small shop selling all sorts of winter sports gear. He simple named his business Oceanic leisure.   
  
With the amount of money Shane was withdrawing he was easily traced by Vince. No sooner did Vince find out where Shane was, did he book a flight to go and see him. Once in Switzerland Vince hesitated about seeing Shane. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Shane anymore than he already was. He thought that Shane living in Switzerland may have been a good thing. He had been told that Shane had his own business and was doing rather well.  
  
He loved his son and could only imagine his pain. He had never really got over having cancer but had just pushed it to the back of his mind. Although it had been so long Shane was still suffering the fear of knowing that the cancer could come back and wanted to be happy. But he wasn't, which is why he turned to drugs after being told by a mate that heroin does wonders for your feelings. Vince only wished that he could have worked out Shane's reasons for heroin at the begging rather than now. For being slow on understanding Vince had as good as lost his only son.   
  
In the end Vince did goto see Shane, but not to talk to him or even let Shane know that he was there. Instead he just stood his distance and watched Shane help young children to play curling. He watched Shane cheer for the children when they did it right and he watched his own son speak a whole new language. The German/Swiss language. Vince could see that Shane was happy or happy enough and left Switzerland.  
  
When Vince returned home he informed Marissa that if she wanted to be with Shane there was only one place to go, Switzerland. Marissa didn't hesitate and flew to Switzerland, when she arrived she did her best to speak Swiss german and find Shane. When she found Shane and saw what appeared to be a happy Shane so full of life and happiness she began to think if coming to Switzerland in an attempt to win back Shane was a good idea after all.  
read onto chapter 5. 


	5. All or Nothing

After a while Marissa just stormed over to Shane,her confidence high. She needed to know the truth about how Shane was and there was only one way to find out. By asking him.  
  
The children Shane was with saw Marissa and pointed to her. Shane turned round.  
  
"Go inside kids i'll be there in a minute," Shane said but only in German. Marissa stood in front of Shane,crying. She starred at him and he starred back and thats how the couple remained for a quite a while. Then Shane rushed indoors hoping to yet again run away from his problems. But Marissa just followed. He made an attempt for the door. Marissa barged in front stopping him from going anywhere.  
  
"Shane do you love me?" Marissa asked. She got no reply but a whole lot of thought. Shane just stood facing Marisssa,an expression on his face like he was lost. Lost on what to say,Lost on what to think,a tear ran down from his eye. Marissa put her hand on his face,stroking his hair and smiling.  
  
For a while all seemed alright then Shane pushed her away. He went into the store and locked the door leaving Marissa outside. Marissa stayed hoping for him to let her in for about 10 minutes then called it a day. She left and never returned,never returned to see Shane that is. But she did stay in Switzerland hoping that Shane would miss her and come looking for her. But he didn't,he didn't come looking for her but he did miss her. He missed her allot. He missed her so much that his work began to slip and he did things wrong. His mind was on another planet.  
  
Shane's business was going under and it was all Shane's fault. He dropped expensve things,he failed to put orders in that he needed to run his store. He lost the members of Oceanic Leisure because he didn't seem to care if they learned to ski or not. He wouldn't help people he just let them do as they pleased. Marissa coming to Switzerland had almost reset his mind and reminded him of how lonely he felt and how his life is going down the drain. She reminded him of the things he had and the things he stood to lose,or should i say the things that he had lost.  
  
After about two months of staying in Switzerland Marissa went back to see to Shane. She needed to know if he really did want to end what he had and could gain back with her. When she arrived she saw a very different Shane. She saw the Shane that she saw back in the U.S.A, She saw the Shane that spent most of his time in his own world, She saw the Shane that was scared and desperate for help, She saw Shane's true feelings.  
  
Marissa stood in front of Shane for a while wondering what to do. Should she hug him? Should she kiss him? Should she leave him alone? In the end she chose to leave him alone because she knew that if she tried to hug him or kiss him the chances were that he'd push her away. Marissa looked round at the business Shane had built and destoryed in under a year. Then she made and exit for the door. Shane watched her hoping for an easy way out. The easy way being her deciding not to leave after all and staying with him for a while and he wouldn't have to say anything or do anything.  
  
But his hopes didn't come true as Marissa opened the door and was about to go through when  
  
"Wait! please don't go,please," cried Shane. Marissa turned around and raced over to Shane,she fell into his arms. Shane cried and cried and cried. No sooner was Marissa in his arms did he realize where he should be. He should be with Marissa. He should be at home in the States. He kissed Marissa many times on the head and held her tight. He didn't want to let her go. Then Shane went back to silence,struggling to say something he'd been wanting to say for so long. Something that 2 years ago he could have easily said. Mariss looked up waiting for him to speak.  
  
"I,I,I love you!" Shane told Marissa softly.  
  
"What was that?" Marissa smiled and asked.  
  
"I said, I said I love you Marissa!" Shane replyed. Marissa was over the moon,she had good right to be. She had gotten her husband back.Or had she? 


	6. You are,i'm not!!

For a week Shane said nothing,he just let Marissa do all the talking. Everytime Marissa asked him something he nodded or shook his head.Marissa would just stare at hm for a moment and then go back to what she was doing. She didn't want to push him,she wanted him to speak in his own good time. In a way she was scared,scared of saying the wrong thing and losing her husband once again.  
  
Many of the questions Marissa asked were about flying home,Shane always nodded,he nver shook his head. Marissa was over joyed. She booked a flight,she rang Vince and Linda to tell them the good news and thought her life of perfection would be restored. She didn't realise that Shane only nodded because he was trying to shut her up. That he wasn't ever paying attention to anything Marissa said. That he was in a world of his own,thinking.The thing Shane was best at.  
  
So when it came to the day of Shane and Marissa's departure from Switzerland Marissa got the shock of her life. It was eight in the morning and Marissa was running around the apartment packing and cleaning to busy to realise that her husband was trying to tell her something important.  
  
"Marissa.....Marissa.....i need to," shane got cut off.  
  
"in a minute Shane i'm busy!!" That was the answer he always got so he gave up,he just went back to the bedroom and layed there thinking. A tear ran from his eye.  
  
10:00am,time to leave for the airport.  
  
Marissa came in the bedroom.  
  
"Shane have you packed everything?" Marissa asked.  
  
"no..." shane replyed.  
  
"well come on we gotta leave...oh i'll do it!!!!!" Marissa picked up Shane's suitcase and opened it.  
  
"shane you suitcase is empty!!!!" Marissa yelled.  
  
"i know" Shane moaned.  
  
"We've gotta leave now!!! We are late already.......come on help me pack if you help we'll get it done in half the time!!!"  
  
"NO!!!"  
  
"Why Shane? We've gotta go!!!"  
  
"You have i haven't"  
  
"what??"  
  
"i'm not going,i never wanted to go.i just agreed to shut you up....i'm staying here!!!!"  
  
"oh well,we'll have to fly back to the states another time....no rush....just we'll go when your ready.."  
  
"We,we won't go anywhere."  
  
"what??? shane i don't understand"  
  
"what's to understand? I'm not going and you ARE!!! Marissa i don't want you here. I live in Switzerland now Switzerland is my country.I live on my own and i like it that way."  
  
"so.....thats it is it,you don't love me?,you don't wanna be married?....."  
  
"Marissa i love you you know i do,i love you with all my heart.But i.......,i'm not ready to play the happy couple again. I wanna be on my own.I don't wanna divorce but...if you do i'll happliy give you one. This is my life now.....HERE,in Switzerland no where else and without anyoneelse."  
  
"So sorry you feel that way..."  
  
Marissa runs out crying. Shane stops her.  
  
"Marissa!!!! Marissa wait!!!!!"  
  
"Shane,if you ever want me.....you know where i am.... At home in the U.S.A!!!!"  
  
Marissa heads for the airport,Shane dosen't bother to stop her....he just drops to the floor in tears before throwing glass and wooden objects around the room,smashing them. and shattering them...Shane smashes a photo of him in and Marissa in a glass photoframe. When he realises he picks it up,his tears falling on the picture. he removes the broken glass from it and then begins to shake. He throws the picture at a wall and cries on the floor.  
  
read onto chapter 7. 


	7. Thinking it over

It had been 3 days,which to Shane felt like 3 years. Shane didn't move he just stayed on the floor staring into space. Shane was almost on another planet,another world. Nothing new,he did this alot but this time it made sense. In his mind he knew which world he was on,the world of hell. In his mind he knew he had done wrong. He knew everything now,it was so crystal clear.  
  
knock knock  
  
"Shane?Are you in there?You gotta business to run you know!!!!!"shouted a work college from outside Shane's door. Shane just ignored him. Screw the business he thought...Screw life.....Screw everything... it wasn't he deserved it. To live,to work. I mean why should he,why should h4 have the privillage of living a happy life in switzerland while letting his wife,his own wife go through hell,go through pain.  
  
He thought of his wife alot,he thought of his family. He thought of being a child on holiday with Vince,Linda and Steph. Playing and messing around without care in the world. He thought of his wedding day,and all he could hear was the golden vows repeating over and over again in his mind.  
  
"Shane, will you take Marissa to be your wedded wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her, and keep her in sickness and in health until death do you part?"  
  
is all he could hear. He thought about those words love, comfort ,honor until death do you part. He thought to himself.....he isn't dead. He's alive so why won't he comfort his wife,why won't he love her,protect her,honor her. It's his duty although he won't do it. He has too he thought it's his job,No one elses.  
  
So why? why did he just let her go,like that. Why didn't he stop her? he's suppose to protect her. Shane never found the answers to any of his thoughts. It was like his mind was split. It was like his mind could change,and right now at this moment he had the mind that loving and caring,not the mind that he the answers.  
  
Eventually Shane got up and put on a cd,he played his latest Britney Spears album. Track 8,Cinderella.  
  
i use to be yout girlfriend and i know i did it well,oh yes you know it's true.......... You'd call me cinderella all you had to do was yell...and i'd be there for you...  
  
Here i am....so try to forgive me...i don't believe in fairytales. Here we are with nothing but honesty,i'd had enough i'm not gonna stay........  
  
i'm sorry for running away like this and i 'm sorry i've already made my wish oh oh but cinderellas got to go!!!!!!  
  
The song played on and Shane began to think changing the words slightly to make them fit his problem. I use to be your husband,he though. I know i did it well,oh yes you know it's true. You'd call me shane all you had to do was yell and i'd be there for you. It was so so true. He was a good husband,all Marissa had to do was yell and Shane was always there for her. On guard,protecting her. The song continues.....  
  
From time to time i tried to tell just what was on my mind it told me not today.........come back do that,well cinderella was all you had to say......  
  
Here i am so try to forgive me i don't believe in fairytales....here we are with nothing but honesty.....i've had enough i'm not gonna stay......  
  
I'm sorry for running away like this and i'm sorry i've already made my wish oh oh but cinderellas got to go...i'm sorry just trying to make my life don't worry your gonna be alright....ah oh....cindrellas got,to go....  
  
Shane thought about the verse,from time to time he did try to tell Marissa just what was on his mind,but always decided not today. Shane was all Marissa had to say yet again....Shane ran away to try and escape and he hoped that everyone would be alright....he just had to go.....the song continues  
  
i used to say i want you,you gave me your stuff. I did everything you wanted then our love shot...i won't believe in all your lies i'm not blind you seemy love it can't be sacrificed i won't be what you wanted me to be...  
  
i'm so sorry,i've already.....made up my mind.......  
  
i won't return to you.  
  
He thought about it,he use to want his wife,now he pushes her away. He did everything she wanted,marissa wouldn't believe in all his lies she aint blind you see.....and he and marissa's love it can't be sacrificed....he will be what Marissa wants him to be... A caring,loving husband. It's not much to ask for. A right to know the truth from her husband.......and finally Shane will return to her.. he turned off the stero and started to run around the room collecting clothes and objects,he threw them all in the suitcase and ran out the door leaving a note for the landlord.....  
  
stay tuned for the final part of lifeless series one: shane's deadly secret. which will be up tomorrow. 


	8. Too good to be True

Lifeless series 1:Shane's deadly secret Chapter 8: It doesn't take much to fall.  
  
All went well for Shane after that. He happily drove to the airport. He happily got a plane ticket. But once it was time for boarding. Once it was time for Shane to get on the plane. That was it, he couldn't do it. He was scared, he was terrified. Terrified of the outcome. Terrified that if he went back to the States everyone would be against him. Even his own family. In his mind it wasn't as if he didn't deserve it. But still........there was no way. No way he go back and face up to his problems. Marissa was important to him. But,but just not that important.  
  
Shane ran out of the airport and got into a hire car. He began to drive home,tears falling from his eyes. Then,then he came to an off license. He parked on the curb and stared at the glass window of the off license. He stared at all the beer. All the whisky ,all the larger and all the cyder. That was it,he got out of the car and bought 5 crates of beer,2 bottles of whiskey and 3 bottles of wine. He put the alcohol in the boot and drove home. Without a single tear. Somehow,although he had yet to drink it,having alcohol in the car put Shane's mind at rest. It calmed him down.  
  
At around dinner time Shane arrived home. He got out of the car and was about to walk in leaving the alcohol in car but quickly remembered. He grabbed a couple of crates of beer and took them inside. When he got to his apartment the landlord was waiting. He was about to organise to have the apartment put back up for rent when Shane arrived.  
  
"Shane, Shane is that you?" Said the landlord  
  
"Yeah,yeah why?"  
  
"Whats with the note Shane?"  
  
"uhhh....ahhhh....just a moment of maddness,one of those days you know how it is."  
  
"oh.....i was pleased for you,you know."  
  
"what?"  
  
"i was pleased for you. When i got the note,when i heard you were going back.... Shane this isn't your country.... The U.S.A is.. You can't live here. You need your family."  
  
"Hey,isn't that for me to decide?"  
  
"Yes....yes it is. But Shane, the longer you put off going back the harder it will be"  
  
"What are you my father now? Look you deal with emigrants all the time...is this what you say to them?"  
  
"no,but it was i say to you. You see they are here because they want to be. Not to escape and try to avoid their problems at home. Like you. "  
  
Shane remained silent  
  
"uhhh....I'll see you tomorrow Shane... Luckily i didn't put this place back up for rent hey."  
  
The landlord left. Shane remained thinking about what the landlord said for a while. Then he just shrugged his shoulders and went inside. once inside he grabbed a few beers and put them in the refridgerater. He sat down on the couch and watched T.V. But it didn't take long,although it had been a year since he touched alcohol he soon went to the refrigerator and fetched a couple of beers. He brought them over to the couch and put them on the coffee table. He sat and stared at the two beer bottles for a few minutes before jut cutting his losses and opening a bottle. No sooner did he open a bottle did he drink it. No sooner had he drunk one did he drink another. No sooner did he drink that.....did he run outside and fetch the rest of the alcohol he had brought.  
  
Shane drank all night from then on and got through 3 crates of beer. Each had 12 bottles of beer in them. Not only that did he get through a bottle of wine and a bottle of whiskey. Before finally.....at about 1am falling asleep on the couch. Surrounded by empty alcohol bottles.  
  
Next morning Shane didn't awake until 2pm. When he did wake up he was confused as he looked around him at the mess he had made. At the empty beer, whisky and wine bottles. He couldn't believe how much he had drunk. He shrugged his shoulders,scratched his head, yawned and got up off the couch. He went straight to the refridgerator and stared at the alcohol inside. There was lots of it, and he couldn't remember how it got there. But hey,he didn't drink it. He just grabbed a yoghurt and ate it. That was his breakfast and dinner all in one. At tea time he had a stir fry...........with wine. He thought nothing of it. So he had a bit of alcohol! Doesn't mean he's an alcoholic again! he thought.  
  
But he would be soon,that was all so clear,if he kept drinking he'd be back to his old ways. He'd be an alcoholic. After tea Shane thought of nothing but the wine he drank. He thought of the remaining alcohol left in the refrigerator. By 8pm,he got out a crate of beer. Put it on the coffee table and drank two bottles. By the third bottle,Shane realised it was wrong. So he threw the bottle at the wall in anger. He threw the rest of the crate on the floor. Broken glass went everywhere. But Shane didn't care. He didn't clear it up. Instead he went to bed. Stamping on the broken glass on his way.  
  
"FUUCCCKK!"  
  
Shane screamed as he stood on the glass bear footed.  
  
"FUUUCCCCKKK"  
  
He yelled again. He hopped back over to the couch and looked at his foot. He looked at the piece of glass sticking out and tugged at it. Till he got it out. He then got a tea towel,it was the only thing he could find and wrapped it round his foot. Then he headed back to the bedroom and off to bed. Shane was semi-drunk so he wobbled allot on the way to bed. Even more so i guess because he was hopping but it was clear he had had alcohol. Once in his room he collapsed on the bed and promptly went to sleep. Didn't last long though.  
  
He got up about 11pm and went to get something to eat. On his way he grabbed a beer and drank it. Then headed back for another one. Then another one. Before finally making it to the stove. He wanted sausages and decided to cook them in the frying pan instead of the oven. He put lard in the frying pan and turned it on. All went well. He was little wobbly but he was ok. He waited a while for the pan to heat up and put the sausages in the frying pan. He then left them........had a couple more beers and well.....fell asleep.....Sure enough the pan set on fire. Smoke filled the room and the flames started to get higher and higher. But shane,remained asleep. 


	9. Survival

10 minutes later the flames were upto the roof. The whole apartment had disappeared into grey smoke. Shane once again remained asleep. Not knowing what was going on around him. Minute by minute the flames got higher and higher. Luckily for Shane the landlord had arrived.  
  
"Shane,Shane. Are you in there boy?"  
  
The Landlord got no reply. The hallway outside Shane's apartment was covered in smoke. The Landlord had no choice,no choice but to kick the door in. He kicked the door as hard as he could but still it wouldn't open. He yelled.  
  
"Can somebody help me please!"  
  
Luckily someone did. Two people actually. A husband and Wife. The wife went to call fire and rescue,the husband helped kick the door in. 5 minutes later the door to Shane's apartment opened and a blaze of smoke came out. You couldn't see nothing but smoke. It was dangerous.very dangerous but the Landlord and the Husband still went inside.  
  
"Shane! Shane!!!"  
  
The landlord yelled. But got no reply. The Landlord began searching the apartment using his hands to see. But however much he searched they couldn't find Shane. The fire and rescue crew arrived. They got both the Landlord and the Husband out and asked them if anyone else was inside.  
  
"Shane's in there."  
  
Said the Landlord. The crew went back into the apartment and searched for Shane whilst fighting the flames. Eventually they found him,but not on the couch were he first fell to sleep. But callapsed in a corner at the side of a window. Unconscious.  
  
"I found him,i found him."  
  
Shouted one of the fireman. The fireman then grabbed shane and took him out of the building. They had to this time take him out through the window because the flames were blocking all exits through the door.  
  
Once Shane was out the fire and rescue team took Shane over to the paramedics. When they got him there,Shane had stopped breathing. The paramedics fought to revive him but for a long time it looked like they were getting no where.  
  
"Come on lets go.He's dead there's nothing more we can do."  
  
Said the chief paramedic.  
  
"No wait,i just want one more try...That's all."  
  
Replied a paramedic. Her name was Louise. She knew Shane,she watched wrestling. She'd had a hard day and wasn't prepared to lose her idol. She took one more go at reviving Shane and luckily it paid off. Shane was back breathing. The paramedics put Shane i the ambulance and drove him to the hospital.  
  
Shane spent a week in hospital unconscious. When he finally awoke,he called.  
  
"Mom.....Dad?......Steph.....Marissa?"  
  
But he got no reply. He tried his best to look around and couldn't see anyone. However,if he had only been able to lift himself up and look at the bottom of the bed he would have seen his father. Asleep,in a chair. At the side of him,three other chairs. Empty but still three empty chairs would have been enough to know his family was atleast in the same country as him.  
  
A few minutes later Linda arrived with coffee.  
  
"Shane,Shane....oh my god....Vince get up, get up now!!!!!"  
  
"What........."  
  
Vince replyed rubbing his eyes  
  
"It's Shane,Shane's awake."  
  
Vince jumped up and went over to his son. Shane made one move and one move only. He grabbed his fathers and his mothers hand. He grasped their hands tight. He was glad,so glad. To see his parents,he thought he'd lost them. Lost them forever. Although he never said it,he actually needed his parents. He needed them to guide him still. To stop him,to stop from doing things he'd regret. Like turning back to drink.  
  
A nurse came over to Shane,she pulled the tube gently out of his mouth and took the tape from his eyes. Shane coughed. The nurse gave Shane an oxygen mask. Shane muttered...  
  
"I don't want it"  
  
The nurse put the oxygen mask on his neck so he could talk.  
  
"Mom,i'm so sorry"  
  
"there's no need."  
  
"there's every need!It was his stupid mistake"  
  
Vince sneared. He wasn't happy. He was heartbroke about what had happend to his son but he knew it was all self inflicted. He knew that what happend didn't need to have happen if shane had only not drank as much as he did. So therefore he was angry,angry at his son for putting the rest of the family through this. To make them suffer even more.  
  
"Do you realise what you've done. We thought you were dead."  
  
"I'm sorry Dad"  
  
"oh really...well now i understand why you came to Switzerland Shane. So you could drink. So no one could stop you from drinking ."  
  
"i only drank that night and"  
  
"bullshit shane"  
  
"Vince leave him alone he's been through alot." Said linda  
  
"Leave him alone?.....no way... You know i use to think you were intelligent Shane,i use to think you were special.........i use to be proud of you shane....but now....Now your just a disgrace...........I mean what kind of son would do something like this?"  
  
"i didn't mean to"  
  
"Don't bullshit me Shane. You didn't meanto do this? hah? Yeah right like you didn't mean to start taking drugs,like you didn't mean to hit Marissa. Like you didn't mean to start drinking.... and most of all you didn't mean to come to Switzerland"  
  
"i was coming back"  
  
"BULLSHIT! you won't come back to the States your too busy reacking our lives. Making me,your mother,Steph and Marissa suffer.You know your lucky Marissa hasn't divorced you... .you deserve it. You truly do....You know she was heartbroken when she came back from Switzerland..........but what am i telling you for? you don't care."  
  
Shane began to cry. Vince left. Louise walked in.  
  
"Hi everybody"She said  
  
"Shane it's louise......the girl that saved you,don't you remember?"Linda asked Shane  
  
"ummm........i don't think he'd remember somehow..haha.."  
  
"Am i right they'd given up?...."  
  
"Yeah,yeah....But i wasn't gonna lose my idol...."  
  
"See shane thats how much your fans love you! you could have died......you stopped breathing...Louise saved you."  
  
"not just me....there's the fire and rescue team don't forget..........I mean without them shane would have burnt away in his apartment........anyway......i gotta go...got another emergency to see too... seeyah round.."  
  
Louise stared at Shane for a while then went upto him and kissed him on the cheek..  
  
"seeyah louise" said linda.  
  
"seeyah"  
  
Louise left. Shane said nothing to her. Not even thankyou......Infact he didn't say nothing for the rest of the day. He just looked at the roof and rested no matter what people said to him.He was thinking,constantly thinking about what Vince said........he knew his father was right.....  
  
read onto the next chapter 


	10. Let the truth be told

The next day,the McMahon's had all gone home for some well earned rest. When i say gone home i mean back to their hotel not back to the States. Shane was left alone. Where still he stared at the ceiling. At about 10am Shane got a visitor. A rather special visitor,it was Louise. The girl who saved Shane's life.  
  
"Knock,knock"  
  
She said as she walked into Shane's ward. For the time Shane moved his head round.  
  
"who are you?"  
  
"I'm Louise don't you remember me. I came to see yah yesterday."  
  
"oh"  
  
Shane turned his head back round to look at the ceiling. Louise sat down and stared at Shane. She didn't know what to say to him.  
  
"umm....soo....where's your family?"  
  
Shane didn't reply to her. He didn't even move. Until about half an hour later. When he turned round and saw that Louise was still there.  
  
"there at the hotel"  
  
"sorry?"  
  
"there at the hotel.that's where my family are"  
  
"oh right.....sorry"  
  
"so why are you in Switzerland?"Louise asked  
  
"why do you care?"  
  
"i was just asking."  
  
"To get away."  
  
"to get away from what?"  
  
"why do you ask so many questions?"  
  
"Sorry! i was just trying to be friendly."  
  
"yeah and then go and laugh at me with your friends.... oh by the way have you heard....that guy on tv...Shane,he tried to kill himself."  
  
"Not at all...i don't have any friends.....yet"  
  
"yet?"  
  
"yeah yet,i only came to Switzerland 2 weeks ago. I aint got any friends yet because i'm still trying to find someone who can speak english. and my German....well it's limited"  
  
"why are you here?"  
  
"why am i here? well....my Granma came here......on holiday and she died here......I was learning to be a paramedic at the time and.....well obviously i was upset. Sad,down,depressed... Then i found out she only died because well......there weren't enough paramedics to get to her in time. I wanted to change that. I wanted to make a difference. I know i'm only one person but my help counts. So,i decided to come over here and be a paramedic over here.and....here i am."  
  
Shane stared at louise  
  
"I came here to get away from my problems. It didn't work. I thought if i came here... Everything could be normal again. I could start a new life... Be free,i guess deep down i hoped that my family would sacrafice and come over here too. But it didn't work......they can't move from the States,they have a business to run. A business that i should be part of. Marissa came here,thats my wife by the way....But i couldn't tell her.....i couldn't tell her that i wanted her to stay....that i didn't want to go back with her i wanted to stay here with her. So i ended up pushing her away. I promised her i'd go back to the States with her knowing i wouldn't because i'm too scared.......i thought that by the time we leave i would have had the courage to tell i want her to stay and start again over here....but it didn't work out that way."  
  
Shane looks at Louise.  
  
"What problems did you have,in the States?"  
  
"ha. Drinking,drugs....."  
  
"I said problems Shane."  
  
"what?...."  
  
"Problems,drinking isn't a problem on it's own. The problem is what made you start drinking.....same with drugs."  
  
Shane looked at Louise. No one had ever said that to him. He'd been convinced that drinking was the problem. That drugs was the problem and forgotten about the real problem.  
  
"I don't know what the problem is."  
  
"Well what happend? What changed your life from a perfect life to a life that absolutly sucked?"  
  
"Cancer...."  
  
"Cancer?"  
  
"yeah,i had cancer....It scared me...it scared the hell out of me. It changed me completely."  
  
"how did it change you?"  
  
"i wasn't honest with people anymore.....i lied to people,i lied to my wife. I lied to my family....eventually i told everybody......Then i had surgery. Which got rid of it and luckily it has never returned.....but still the fear is there...."  
  
shane begins to cry  
  
"There's your problem..... Not the cancer. But the lies.......You've lied to your family that much.that now. When you want to tell them the truth you are affraid they won't believe you. You are affraid that no one will believe you. That they wont understand.. So you drank.........and you took drugs. To give you more confidence.....to try and help you....but the truth is it didn't. It just made a problem worst and turned one problem into 3 problems. 4 even. You tried to tell people,but it didn't work.....because your fear came true....so you had to get away. You thought if they didn't believe you once then they wouldn't again.. but they wanted to knwo the truth this time... i mean really wanted to know..... and you didn't wanna tell them because you scared of them not believing you and them judging you. So you got away from them. Hoping they'd forget about it. and hopefully come to Switzerland and be with you.....am i right?" Shane stared at Louise yet again. She was right, she was so right... eventually he answered her.  
  
"yeah" he said  
  
"thought so"  
  
"how did you know?"  
  
"well Shane maybe you aint the only person in the world that that has happened too.."  
  
"It happened to you..?"  
  
"yep. But not because of cancer.Because of my Grandma. Because of her death... I was so sure I could have helped. What with being a paramedic.. But people didn't believe me. So I went like you,I started to drink..i didn't leave the country though.. Ha,not everyone has the money for that kinda thing...but if I could have,I would... Looking back at it though I'm glad I didn't.. Because not going made it so much easier to face upto things,and to get sorted out...to put things right. I went to rehab,told everybody my problem..it helped.it helped a lot... I got out,went back to training and look at me now..cured.. I'm glad I came to Switzerland for all the right reasons,and not all the wrong reasons.which is what leaving the country back then would have been.... Actually,I'm surprised. You went to rehab didn't yah? So why didn't that cure you?"  
  
"Because I lied.. I told people lies not my true problems..because I was scared of being judged. I pretended to be alright and cured to just to get out of that place."  
  
"bad move...it could have helped you know...it could have helped a lot to be truthful... if theres one thing In life I believe in it's not quitting....which is what you did..you quit rehab...you backed out..because you didn't think you were strong enough and you are.if you want to be...everybody is judged in those places...judged by the doctors and nurses..so they can work out a plan to help you..I know I'm not famous,so I don't have a reputation to think about..but I don't think that would have stopped me..stopped me from getting my thoughts out.my true thoughts.." 


End file.
